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Fight Languages

Changing your conflict. Sparking connection.

Take the quiz

Find your personal Fight Language and learn more about yourself with our quick quiz.

At work

Take the Fight Languages to work and watch everything improve.

Grab the book

Have this resource on hand for difficult conversations or quick tips to fight better.

book a session

Available for individuals, couples, or families, working with Lena is a short-cut to better communication.

The 5 fight languages

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Ignitor

  • Anger based reaction

  • Covers hurt or scared feelings with anger

  • Strong protectors for others, most reactive when they feel unprotected.

  • Key for conflict: an Ignitor's anger is the signal to take a break and cool off. Try a solo lap, or two, around the house.

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amplifier

  • Emotion based reaction

  • Focused on own response

  • Helps others access emotional experience through music or art

  • Key for conflict: an Amplifier's heightened emotions are the signal to take a break. Try finding music for a good cry.

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negotiator

  • Connection based reaction

  • Values peaceful interactions 

  • Elevates self into role of parent / teacher / counselor

  • Key for conflict: a Negotiator's pacifying is the signal to take a break. Try acknowledging own feelings before engaging again.

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analyzer

  • Logic based reaction

  • Dismisses emotions if they don't seem justified

  • Truth and justice seeking

  • Key for conflict: an Analyzer's point-for-point argument is the signal to take a break. Try a logic puzzle or Sudoku.

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extinguisher

  • Detachment based reaction

  • Can escape into work, TV, hobbies to avoid conflict

  • Hard to engage once shut down

  • Key for conflict: an Extinguisher's overwhelm is the signal to take a break. Hit pause anytime and set a time to hit play again.

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Fight Languages

Shop the Fight Languages

I think Lena's approach is genius - if you keep getting into fights, why not start right there with the fighting? That one session was more helpful than many standard counseling sessions that we've had.

Sandy Pradas

Work with Lena

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